Frames

Reality is ultimately a selective act of perception and interpretation. A shift in our perception and interpretation enables us to break old habits and awaken new possibilities for balance, healing, and transformation. David Simon

Several years ago, we purchased a print of an Aspen grove at a local art fair. Tree trunks stretch from the bottom left corner of the picture into a mottled canopy of reds, oranges, and yellows. All of this is set against a Colorado blue background. It reminds me of hiking trips to the mountains in the fall.

After we bought the print, it sat on a table leaning against the wall for months. We’d walk by and remark that we should get it framed, never actually doing anything about it. Eventually, a coupon appeared in the paper and I knew it was time. I grabbed the print and went to get it framed.

Walking into the store, I was immediately overwhelmed. I felt anxious as I wandered around looking at frames. I didn’t even get a chance to think through the mats and other options. Thankfully, it didn’t take too long before someone spotted me and offered a helping hand.

They asked what I needed, pulled out the picture, and lay it on a table. Glancing at the colors they quickly walked over to the wall and grabbed a couple of black frames. Next, they pulled out a few mat choices and laid them on the corner. I said nothing.

Sensing some hesitation on my part, they explained that given the vibrant colors of the picture, you don’t want the mats and frames to compete. Rather you want them to compliment it. Framing a story has a similar process.

Every time we tell a story or share an experience, we apply a frame during its creation. Stories evolve out of a mix of emotions, memories, beliefs, and imagination. And, all these stories are laden with interpretations and meanings. A little dab of shame or smear of anxiety and a small experience overshadows the larger context.

To frame a story well, the interpretations can’t outshine the experience. They have to work in harmony with it.

We’ve got to check things out; check their veracity; check-in with other people.

We’ve got to understand how we are using language, what details we are highlighting or ignoring, what descriptions we are choosing, or how we emotionally connect to the experience. Paying attention to these things allows us to remember what we are forgetting.

Did you have one embarrassing slip up in an otherwise good day? Did you flub one sentence in a presentation that people complimented you on? Sure, recognize these moments where you can improve, but don’t allow them to be the central focus of a story.

Put them into context.

A shift in perspective – a reframe – allows us to access a larger and more complex story. In turn, this allows us to put things in proper perspective and create new meanings and interpretations of old stories.